Saturday, August 27, 2011

Smacky Sez

Every good writer has an alter-ego of some kind.  Mine is Smacky.  A seven foot tall catcher's mitt who goes around town trying to knock some sense into the numbskulls and nitwits on the street. 

Smacky has been busy lately as you might imagine with all kinds of weird happenings.  First we discover that the Soviet Union is on the rise and that Elvis died on his birthday.  Then we learn that Global Warming is a vicious myth created by left-wing ideologues who hate small businesses.  To top it all off, we learn that teacher's unions are the reason America is in decline.  Ok... they're a close second to gay marriage. 

So much little time.  Smack!

Friday was a gorgeous day in Chicago so I took Smacky out to lunch with me.  We starting talking about Mayor Emmanuel's 100 Days speech.  Truly a smackable offense.  Then the topic turned, as it often does, to education. 

Why is it Smacky, I said, that teachers are taking so much blame for the failures of our educational system?  He finished chewing his Tuna sandwich and stared me in the eye.  Then he grumbled out, It's because you're all freakin' lazy. You sit around all day reading books pining about the loss of books and how shitty our culture is becoming.  Why don't you go to Target and work for living?

Now Smacky, I said, that's harsh.  Teachers perform a needed service.  Among other things we help students learn critical reading strategies and how to write better papers. 

Smacky started laughing so hard I thought the stiches would come out of his thumb. You certainly are full of yourself Poindexter, he chuckled.  But in case you hadn't noticed cash is king.  People don't want to think they just want to be rolling in dough. 

Well Smacky, you might be right, I said, but I hope not.  I'd like to believe that people still care about the life of the mind and not just the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Bling you know isn't everything.

Whatever gets you through the night, Smacky said.  He snarfed at me and got up to use the bathroom.  I got up to pay the bill and I had to admit that the greenbacks in my wallet did emit a warm glow as I pulled them out.  Perhaps it was fallout from Fukushima.

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